Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Pretentious Portlanders and their dogs.

Excuse me while I rant...

This goes out specifically to the Stepford wife walking her two dogs in Forest Park, Tuesday, August 16th around 10:00 am. But to be fair, this is also to the hundreds, if not thousands of dog owners in Portland who hold the same "holier-than-thou" attitude about their dogs.

Okay, Portland, I'm a bit disappointed in the lack of cool dog owners... I mean what is going on here? There are leash laws for a reason... here are four:

1. Yes, I know that your dog is "super friendly" and won't hurt a fly, but guess what? Mine's not. So, if Kona and I are walking down a trail, and an unleashed dog comes running up to us, I'm going to assume that it's not friendly. And so will Kona. **News Flash** Unleashed dogs can make dogs, who are protective as it is, turn into assholes.**

2. Some folks choose to work their butts off to train their (shall I dare say aggressive?) dogs, in order to calm them down and become more socialized. This takes hard work, and usually only results in very small, yet celebratory steps. Walking past owners with their leashed dogs make for great opportunities for these celebratory occasions. Dogs running up to us, with their fur raised, ready to take action is like throwing months of training down the drain.

3. Poop. This is self explanatory, but for those that struggle to know what I'm talking about, let me lay it out for you... Dogs poop. Unlike humans who have a bit more decency, dogs will poop where they please. Owners who let them run unleashed, are unaware of where their dog has just fertilized the ground. Many times, this addition to nature occurs in the middle of the trail. Catch my drift?

4. Finally, irresponsible dog owners make responsible dog owners look bad. Here is a case scenario... (hypothetical of course!)

Responsible Dog Owner: [to irresponsible dog owner] "Hey, just a heads up, my dog is not so friendly to other dogs."

Irresponsible Dog Owner: [continues to let her dogs run up to Kona]

Responsible Dog Owner: [a little louder] "Just want to let you know that my dog is not friendly towards other dogs!"

As she continues to walk towards, her dogs are nose to nose with Kona. She notices that I am trying to get her attention.

Irresponsible Dog Owner: "What?? I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOUR SAYING!" [as she is pulling her ear buds out of her ears.

I tell her again, but just as I finish, Kona snarls, resulting in the most ridiculous scoff I have heard coming from someones mouth. I let her pass, watching her horrified look on her face, and continue to watch her look behind her to see if Kona was "coming for them." I have never seen such a dramatic display. All I could do was laugh, and she saw me laugh... hence, I look bad.

Okay, I'm off my soap box... for now. Oh, PS: Hey lady, you know that giant pile of poop your dog excreted when you first came into the park? Yeah, it was still there when I left. But I guess you wouldn't know, because you didn't see your dog do it.

Okay, now I'm off..

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